he said with a wary eye to the sky.
Things have been pretty ugly. They really have been. It’s been on the brink of having to make some hard decisions and really having to make them alone. Then the past 24 hours happened. Went out last night with a really cool girl, had an amazing time and we both left wanting to see each other again. It was kinda funny, because neither of us have ever “dated” in the strictest definition of it, and neither of us like the dating game. So it let us kinda do our own thing. We spent the night eating frozen yogurt and walking and talking. We held hands most of the night as we talked, by the end of the night we were resting very comfortably against each other. It was comfortable, it was nice. It was a pleasure to be able to let my guard down.
But really this was the prologue to this morning. I’ve been looking for a job pretty ardently for the past month or so, without much success. I got a call this morning from a place I’ve been REALLY hoping to get a job, and now all of a sudden I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. I have been trying so goddamned hard to get a job and then beating myself up for not trying harder. It really wasn’t until I was about to give up until something finally fell in my favor.
I suppose this is entree of my thoughts this afternoon. I’ve never been a huge believer in superstition, I like to believe that I make my own fate. But so many times a person is faced with situations that are simply beyond their control, and for someone in control of their own fate it’s difficult to understand this. If I am in control of this situation, then what am I doing wrong to not get the right results? When does fate come into play, what unknown element is helping us in this kind of situation? And what lesson is there to be learned?
